That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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