dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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