dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
