all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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