You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
