Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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