Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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