I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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