after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
