Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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