Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
