Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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