my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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