You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
