hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
