it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
They have beer where we have blood.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
