How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
