it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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