I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
