my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
