The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
