Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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