names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
