Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
