Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
