We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
