in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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