she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
