I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
