There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
