They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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