we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
