its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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