so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
