That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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