If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
