proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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