This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
