I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
