Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
