this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
