I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
