First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
