Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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