can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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