is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
