you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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