Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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