I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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