All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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