i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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