i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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