3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
